Bruner Blog

I was at a swell party this evening, and I had to pee, so I availed myself of the bathroom. Surprisingly for a host who frequently throws such soirees, there was no lock on the bathroom door. As these things inevitably go, a gorgeous blond walked in on me mid relief. She gasped and hastily removed herself.

So as I exited, I explained that there’s no lock on the door. To which she beseeched of me, “I didn’t see anything. Really, I didn’t see anything!”

After which I thought, that’s totally the wrong response. So infinitely much better had she said, “Oh my God, my heart is still in my throat. My knees are jelly, what with all I saw!”

To add insult to injury, I was wearing my brand new “$pam made my p3n1s bigger” t-shirt. See my point? I want my money back! Those goddamn pills don’t work!

Last Friday I attended a very cool scene. Through a recent reconnection with old family friends, I have been invited to a couple of recent salon-ish parties oranized by Maura and Nick Balaban held to raise funds for New Orleans musicians. Nick is himself a musician and composer and knows many of the musicians personally and in the wake of Katrina has tapped his network of tony New Yorkers to help these musicians charge up their bank accounts.

This most recent party was thrown in the home of the Simons, which as you can see from this photos is an extremely beautiful home (how many Manhattan apartments have an upstairs that overlooks the livingroom?). Their son, Charles Simon, is running for State Assembly; the shout out to him is the least I could do for their graciousness as hosts (he’s a Democrat representing the Upper West Side, so how could I resist?).

Hard to believe this was the largest snow fall in NYC history, but that’s what they tell me. Anyway, lots more photos of the blizzard here.

Step 1: Go to a pizza parlor and buy a raw ball of pizza dough ($3 or so). This is obviously the most important step, as it saves a lot of time at home and who the hell knows exactly how to get the pizza dough right at home, anyway?

Step 2: Preheat oven to 400 degrees

Step 3: Cut the dough in half and freeze half. Work other half into a flat round by gently stetching it like you’ve seen them do in pizza parlors.

Step 4: Fit stretched dough into a greased cast iron skillet. Failing a skillet, fit it in a greased 9″x13″ baking dish.

Step 5: Spread tomato sauce on dough. Add slices of (or grated) mozzarella and other types of cheeses. Add other stuff that strikes your fancy.

Step 6: Bake for 30+ minutes, till the cheese is all bubbly and the crust looks golden brown.

Step 7: Remove from pan to cutting board to cool. Slice, eat, enjoy.

Tonight’s episode…it’s what I got DVR for. (Next week’s looks…I’m all atwitter with anticipation.)

I sometimes like to pretend that I’m a talented jazz singer. We all have our silly dreams. (Make no mistake: I’m not one.) But this fantasy sometimes leads me to copy the lyrics of songs I like and practice them (most often while walking or jogging on the streets of NYC, so I give the appearance of being as crazy as everyone else).

Anyway, this afternoon I was enjoying Ultimate Ben Webster, and in particular the song there “I’ll Be Back.” (I am listening to it on MP3 at the office — the legally purchased CD is at home — so I can’t reference any other details just now, like who wrote it or who the singers are on this track.) Anyway, I Googled around for a bit trying to find the lyrics and, failing that, I transcribed them (yes, I was a bit bored).

One thing I noticed is that, despite its bouncy, swinging boogie groove, the lyrics could definitely be taken as the vows of a devoted lover or those of a frightening stalker. Also, there is one really weird line in there that I’m sure I don’t have right (highlighted), but I’d really love a second opinion from, if anyone else out there has the record handy.

I’ll Be Back

Well, I’ll be back
Baby, I’ll be back
Makes no difference honey what you say or do
Even though you say we’re through
That won’t stop my love for you
No, I’m comin’, comin’ back home to you

Yes, I love you
Girl I love you
Baby, makes no difference what you say or do
Even though you drive me ‘way
I’m comin’ back to you some day
Well, I’m comin’, comin’ back home to you

You led me to the alter
I took you for my wife
Said that I would love you
Keep you all my life

Well I did somethin’ for you honey
That the good Lord never done
Give you some help [or is it possibly “hair”? quite sounds like it, but let’s hope not], honey
‘Cause he sure didn’t give you none

You said to give me something, Baby
Something that I could keep
I got you psycho flower, side of meats and serpent sneaky peeps [WTF???]

Well, back, back, back, I’ll be back
Yes, this mornin
Hoppin, skippin, jumpin’ down the railroad track

Well I don’t care what you say or do
You can’t keep me from lovin’ you
Back, back, back, I’ll be back home to you

Back, pretty baby, I’ll be back
Hoppin and a skippin down the railroad track
I’ll be back, I’ll be back to you-ooooo
Don’t care what you say or do
Can’t keep me away from you
Back, back, back home to you

I’ll be back, home to you!

Roll-Call reports:

Election Update: Do-Over on First Ballot

House Republicans are taking a mulligan on the first ballot for Majority Leader. The first count showed more votes cast than Republicans present at the Conference meeting. Stay with RollCall.com for updates.

Mark comments:

This is priceless. The Republicans try to steal their own elections! That’s right, the Republicans are so corrupt they can’t even hold an honest INTERNAL election. Maybe Jimmy Carter should have monitored the GOP vote.