13th Mar 2005
Mohawk
I saw a guy on the subway last night, maybe late 20s, with a mohawk hairdo. Fucking loser. He had on combat boots, a studded leather wrist band along with one of those ugly yellow rubber wrist bands everyone is wearing these days for Lance Armstrong’s charity. A punk with a heart of gold. <barf>
I was so tired of the mohawk back when I started college in 1983. I had friends wear it when I and they were 15. Then it was cool; that was 1979/1980, when punk mohawks were at their apex, and beside we were 15, so we were still easily impressed. But even by ‘83, it was so over.
I was no stranger to fucked-up hairdos myself in my misspent youth. Once in college I got a “pinhead,” where I shaved all my hair around my head south of my forehead, so I just had a tuft on top of my head. That got looks. As it grew out over the next couple of months, it turned into a “mushroom cloud.” Sadly, no photos remain that I know of.
But a mohawk? You want to look all counter-culture, and that’s the best you can do — the same counter-culture hairdo that dweebs have been getting for decades?
All these years, I’ve been waiting to see someone get the perpendicular mohawk — left to right, instead of front to back — a stripe of hair running ear to ear. That would be cool, something you don’t see every day. Better yet would be the “toilet brush” — a left-to-right mohawk conntected to a mustache-less beard — a continuous band of hair running all around your head, framing your face like a freak mane.
Sadly, I can’t grow that heavy of a beard, not to mention I’m a grown-up with a real job, and no one else out there seems to have the creativity where it comes to zany hairdos as me. Ah well, a boy can dream…
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