15th Aug 2004
Ready.gov’s American Shepherd Mascot
USA Today reports that, in an effort to establish credibility and relevance, the laughable and irrelevant Ready.gov site from the likewise egregious Department of Homeland Security is teaming up with the public-service-announcement clearinghouse the Ad Council for a planned ad blitz for the Back to School season (conveniently timed just after the Republican Convention and just before the September 11th anniversary) to educate school kids about preparation for terrorism (that is, how to avoid it and deal with it, not perpetrate it).
As with Smokey the Bear and McGruff the Crime Dog, this awareness of terrorism preparedness will be embodied by a trust-worth-yet-lovable cartoon character in the form of an “American Shepherd.”
American Shepherd? Uh…apparently, it looks just like a German Shepherd, but…more American. Well…er…in fact, there is no such breed of dog, according to the American Kennel Club. Simply stated, the breed is the Freedom Fries of dogs — a long beloved breed of dog that just sounds a bit too anti-American by its actual name, and we are talking about national security, here, after all. Don’t want to give those damn Krauts any chance to infiltrate the freedom of our way of life. (Wait a minute, the Germans aren’t actually the enemy anymore, are they? It’s the Commies now, right?)
Thank goodness they didn’t go with an Afghan Hound…
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My favorite “name-change” story is from WWII, when “Hamburgers” were renamed “Liberty Steaks” and “Sauerkrout” was changed to “Liberty Cabbage”.
I am reminded of what Tina Fey said after the “Freedom Fries” debacle: “The French are now renaming ‘American Cheese’ to ‘Idiot Cheese’!”
We can only hope that the “American Shepherd” campaign will be as successful in preparing young Americans for terror attacks as the “duck and cover” school films from the 1950’s were. Because, after all, there’s really nothing like 3/4 inches of particle board to shield you from 35 megatons of explosives….
things like this sicken me. typical america.
“Gin”, the cat hijacker ‘not linked’ to Al “Dennis” Quaida better watch out for the Yankee barker. Yo!