26th Mar 2004
Classic Hollywood Squares
This from my brother via email. No idea about the source or the accuracy, but it sounds about right and makes me nostalgic for the ’70s. Can’t you just hear Paul Lynde’s voice?
From The Original Hollywood Squares T.V. Show. These are from the days
when game show responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are now.Q: If you’re going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.Q: True or false…a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes…Q: You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
woman?
A: Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think
he’s really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if
he’s married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say “I love you”?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.Q: What are “Do It”, “I Can Help” and “Can’t Get Enough”?
A: George Gobel: I don’t know but it’s coming from the next apartment.Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter…and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget!Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into
the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!Q: Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy?
A: Paul Lynde: Why, that bitch!Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn’t neglected!Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it’s sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.Q: James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years
old. Now he says it was “one of the best things I ever did.” What was it?
A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother’s womb, can you detect light?
A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.
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I laughed so hard, my face hurts.
“No idea about the source of the accuracy…”
I don’t know what that means, but I’m positive it’s wrong.
I want me proofreader Nazi points.
Under Rick Online on your sidebar right below your search function. The link to marketingvox is actually the link to executivesummary. Also, your cool little underlining does not go away for marketingvox, executivesummary, or bruner blog home as it does for the other links when hovered over.
I believe that is worth at least 2 proofreader Nazi points. Take that Eurotrash!
SDM, yes the “of” should have been an “or.”
Pablo, I’ll give you a point for the URL for MarketingVox, but the other problem is a CSS glitch that I already spent an hour trying to figure out to no avail. I’ll screw around with it more later, but it’s not an oversight, it’s me running up against my limitations as a coder, so I don’t need you Proofreading Nazis rubbing my nose in that.